I Am Living Proof...

I am living proof that good things happen to good people. So, I'm walking through Union Square Park and I pass a crowd of people. I stop to check out the commotion and who do I see? None other than the Diva of Divas, the Fashionista of Fashionistas, Joan Rivers taping interviews. When she saw me she immediately started screaming with elation and jumping for joy because she knew she was gonna get a free, impromptu, A-list interview. She then summoned me before her camera crew, making sure I was shot from the most flattering of angles aka any angle. After we exchanged pleasantries (I told her she looked fabulous), the interview began and she asked me my opinion on topics ranging from the criminal justice system, pop culture, to celebrities. Make sure you tune in.
Hollywood Heat

(Lovely, as per usual, Frosted like only a Grand Dame should be)

Get Well, Bubba!

Did you people really think he wouldn't be okay? The man is BULLETPROOF. I, however, am still recovering from my sudden loss of consciousness upon learning of his "heart attack." Thanks for nothing, New York Times, your erroneous headline caused me unfathomable grief and heartache, the likes not felt since I discovered my first gray hair. Echoing my partner-in-blogging, Udo, "I'd give that white man my heart any day of the week, he just needs to let me know."

A thought, the political strategist in me has me thinking Slick Willy may have outdone himself this time. Knowing the GOP was about to get a nice post-convention bounce in the polls, Bill thought to himself, "Please, no political party is bigger than WJC, I AM the game, and these amateurs need to be taught a lesson from the Master. Today's lesson? My specialty, I'm gonna play the sympathy card on that ass. Garcon! Bring me my fake heart attack kit at once!"

Oh, Those Wacky Republicans

If by "Star Power," the GOP means Rudy, Arnold, and McCain then they are seriously mistaken. I'd gladly offer the Republicans my advice on how to spice up their little soiree. Start with $10 Million in cash (preferably in small denominations, $20 bills should suffice), a box of Cuba's finest, an ounce of Smiles' finest, and some whores and Slick Willy might be tempted to listen to some offers.

In the spirit of democracy, I'll give the Devil his due. The lone saving grace was easily AHH-nold's stylist, who had the sensibility to send him out there with plenty of bronzer and a fantastic suit and tie.