Hollywood's Got It All Wrong...

As I sit here on this fine Thanksgiving holiday, I'm thankful for many things. There is something however, that I am not thankful for, the smorgasbord of "cute" movies they are shoving down my throat. It chafes me raw I tell you. For some reason studio honchos think the public wants sympathetic lead characters who are not only likeable, but conformists, ie. people who are nice and patient. All the while, they suppress characters who are driven, because they know what they want out of life. Does this sound like the America you know? Obviously, physical appearance accounts for, at the very least, 90%, but the other 10% should be strength, gall, edginess, and selfishness.

The studio had it all wrong putting Julia Roberts and Sally Field as the leads in the film version of Steel Magnolias. If I had my druthers, the no-brainer choice for main character would be Shirley MacLaine's Ouiser Boudreaux (Weezy). If that 'tude could be bottled, it'd be worth its weight in gold.

(Tom Skerritt getting his comeuppance)

Same goes for the timeless children's classic from 1973, the adaptation of Charlotte's Web. Honestly, I could give two shits about Wilbur and his imminent demise. I say kill the fucker and feed him to Templeton. That dude's got sass.

(A glorious Templeton)