Hollywood's Got It All Wrong...

As I sit here on this fine Thanksgiving holiday, I'm thankful for many things. There is something however, that I am not thankful for, the smorgasbord of "cute" movies they are shoving down my throat. It chafes me raw I tell you. For some reason studio honchos think the public wants sympathetic lead characters who are not only likeable, but conformists, ie. people who are nice and patient. All the while, they suppress characters who are driven, because they know what they want out of life. Does this sound like the America you know? Obviously, physical appearance accounts for, at the very least, 90%, but the other 10% should be strength, gall, edginess, and selfishness.

The studio had it all wrong putting Julia Roberts and Sally Field as the leads in the film version of Steel Magnolias. If I had my druthers, the no-brainer choice for main character would be Shirley MacLaine's Ouiser Boudreaux (Weezy). If that 'tude could be bottled, it'd be worth its weight in gold.

(Tom Skerritt getting his comeuppance)

Same goes for the timeless children's classic from 1973, the adaptation of Charlotte's Web. Honestly, I could give two shits about Wilbur and his imminent demise. I say kill the fucker and feed him to Templeton. That dude's got sass.

(A glorious Templeton)

What a Proud Day for the US of A

Welcome to 1950! Legit, what the hell has this country come to? Does the collective IQ of America even crack retard or are we still muddled somewhere between Offspring of Chernobyl Survivors and Sufferers of Extreme Cerebral Palsy?

Who is the ad wizard that decided to throw the word embryonic in front of stem cell research? My God, did the Religious Right have a field day with that one. I can see all those uninformed Jesus freaks going insane thinking they're killing babies.

Young people in Ohio and Florida and everywhere for that matter should hold theirs heads up high. We really got out there and made a difference guys! Proud o' ya.

There is however, a silver lining to this dark cloud. I enthusiastically endorse four more years of the most alluring White House figure I've ever laid my baby browns on, Barbara Bush, or as I like to call her, "The New Babs."

And now, I'd like to take the opportunity to address young Barbara directly. Darling, in a word - make that two, LOVE IT! I remember the days of yore, when you could've made like Chelsea Clinton and let the door to glamour and beauty hit'cha where the good lord split'cha. But you didn't, you busted down that door and worked it with what you had. Who said your cousins got all the looks? Certainly not me, now look at you all growns-up. Barbara Bush: A true Rags-to-Riches story if ever there was one.